This is how it works. The family has separated in a weird sort of way. A healthy way. A way in which they haven't separated. If you can make sense of this, you can make a healthy separation without separating from your family.
Imagine a giant circle, and in this circle are a bunch of little circles. These circles represent people. The outer circle who is holding everyone in is like the ozone layer of the earth. It is very strong, but over time it has gotten damaged due to abuse from what is inside of it. Just like the big circle, the little circles get damaged too, allowing unwanted activity in the circles. Eventually the big circle will be weak enough for some of the little circles to break free. Some will choose to stay in the big circle, some will chose to leave. When YOU choose to leave, you are stronger than the circle. It can not hold you in anymore. It can no longer hold you captive to what goes on inside that circle. It can no longer hurt you enough to make you want to stay. Your circle has now rebuilt and is very strong. The people left in the circle are the damaging ones in your life, although, there are a few who may still be trapped. You can still maintain a relationship with these people once you leave the big circle. The difference is, is that you are able to live without them. They can no longer control you, or hurt you. You are there for them as their family, but you are not there as their enabler. Supplying them with whatever it is that they need. Whether that need is drugs, gambling, sexual addictions, the need to abuse and control, or the need to receive love and acceptance at the expense of others. You are no longer there for that stuff, you are just there to love them. That's it. When you break out of the big circle, you are free and can live your own life.
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