You can miss someone you dont remember meeting. I miss my dad. I think he would have saved me.
I am deeply fucked up.
I believe that you can find love a gazillion times, but you only ever have one true love.
I am absolutely terrified of earwigs. Like curl up in a ball and scream terrified.
I believe in parallel universes.
Yellow is my favorite color.
I read a lot.
I play the guitar.
I'm addicted to energy drinks.
I have a gambling problem.
I absolutely cannot stand conflict.
I'm obsessed with P!nk.
I love taco's.
I have too many self inflicted scars.
I say sorry too much.
I used to have a drug problem.
I'm bi-polar and have severe anxiety.
I don't really like ketchup.
My ring finger has a tan line.
I don't lie anymore.
I love to write.
I'm confused.
I have one of the two of my favorite songs tattooed on my arm.
My tongue is peirced.
I hate fish.
I smoke a pack of ciggarettes a day.
I've been hurt a lot in my life.
I like science.
I struggle with religious beliefs.
I like word searches.
I have a really hard time trusting people.
I stutter when I'm nervous, like hard.
I prefer grey socks.
I don't know what I want to be "when I grow up"
My favorite TV show is Dexter.
I enjoy country music.
I have a youth criminal record.
I'm not afraid of death.
I havent accepted who I am.
My siblings mean the world to me.
Skateboarding is cool.
I feel really old.
I have a medical condition no one knows about.
I love cranberries.
I wish my mom would change.
I get a serious migraine every night.
I can't let go of things.
I love gel pens.
I'm really shy but I try really hard not to be.
You really know nothing about me...
Saturday 25 May 2013
Friday 24 May 2013
Spinach Feel Good Smootie
Drink one of these a day to keep things moving smoothly inside and to feel better!
Very Simple!
Ingredients:
1 Cup Spinach
3/4 Cup Fresh Parsley
1 Cup Pineapple Juice (sub. cranberry, grapefruit- no fruit juice)
1/2 Cup Flax seed(sub. flax seed oil)
1/2 Cup Bran
Ice cubes
Serves: 1
In a blender, grind the flax seed until it turns to powder. Add bran and blend. Add pineapple juice, spinach, and parsley. Blend until it is as smooth as you can possibly get it. Add ice cubes, blend. Enjoy!
Very Simple!
Ingredients:
1 Cup Spinach
3/4 Cup Fresh Parsley
1 Cup Pineapple Juice (sub. cranberry, grapefruit- no fruit juice)
1/2 Cup Flax seed(sub. flax seed oil)
1/2 Cup Bran
Ice cubes
Serves: 1
In a blender, grind the flax seed until it turns to powder. Add bran and blend. Add pineapple juice, spinach, and parsley. Blend until it is as smooth as you can possibly get it. Add ice cubes, blend. Enjoy!
Wednesday 22 May 2013
Questions Lesbians Get Asked
Are you questioning who you are? Why?
I am talking sexual orientation here. I have a lot of people asking me questions like "Julie, how would I know if I'm straight/gay/lesbian/bi etc." Perhaps its because I'm an outspoken proud lesbian, I don't know.
I don't really understand how you can be confused with your sexual orientation, but I get that you can be...
I knew the moment I was able to comprehend romantic relationships. Right away I looked at my life and said "will I ever be able to settle down, get married, have kids, with a man." Right away I knew the answer was "NO."
It's not all to do with sex. Everyone thinks sex feels good. People don't understand the whole strap on concept with lesbians. "Why don't you just do the real thing?" Obviously, we would if we wanted to. Penetration feels good. For me, men don't. I will never find comfort or happiness lying next to a man.
I can't really explain what the difference is. Truth is, its not really whether you like men or women more, its who you are able to fall in love with. Ive been living as a lesbian for years, and never came across a man that I was attracted to, never got that "wow" feeling. Never wanted that.
Anyways, fuck it, I cant explain it.
Some questions I've been asked over the years:
"How do you know you are a lesbian if you've never slept with a man?"
UHM- HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE STRAIGHT IF YOU'VE NEVER SLEPT WITH A MAN(FOR GUYS) OR A WOMAN(FOR GIRLS)????
You don't have to sleep with the same sex to know if you're gay or not, that's horse shit. LIKE I SAID. Its not all about sex. Its about love and emotion and happiness. I don't want to wake up to: "Good morning babe," coming from a manly voice. Hahaha.
"How do you 'do it'?"
What the hell do you mean how do we "do it." How the hell do you do it? We have fingers, and toys, and bodies that can be just as close as a man and a woman's. Think about it.
"Who's the guy," or "Who wears the pants?"
Pretty sure we both have worn pants in our life time. And last time I checked, pretty sure both of us were girls. Its called a lesbian relationship. Meaning: Two Females. One of us cannot be a guy.
"When did you become a lesbian?"
When my mother had sex with my father.
"Why do you shove it in our faces, why do you flaunt it?"
Why do you shove it in our faces about how were going to hell because we're gay, or that were disgusting? Stop shoving "straight" in our faces if you don't want us to fight back.
"Are you sure it just isn't a phase?"
Don't phases end? Well, I'll be damned. I'm still waiting for this "gay" phase to end. Did you actually mean to ask "Do you know how to think and understand your attractions?" Rude.
"Were you sexually abused by a man when you were younger?"
First of all, who the hell asks someone this? And- were you? If yes, why are you not gay? If no- then are you gay? If you are you must of been abused as a child..... NOT ALL GAY/LESBIAN PEOPLE WERE ABUSED. For the record, you will never know if I was sexually abused before asking me this bullshit. You don't ask something like that- you get told. Have a little fucking respect..
"Do you hate men?"
Plain and simple: NO. I might say it sometimes, but I don't mean it.
"Do you make a move on the first date?"
Do you? I hope not.
"So uhm, do you like wanna get with me?"
Dude- just because you're a female friend, and I'm into chicks, DOES NOT mean I'm into you. Fuck sakes, jump off your horse ;) And no, I don't gawk at every big-breasted- bikini wearing- pretty lady out there.
"Is that girl your with your girlfriend?"
Uhm, no, dude, that's my mom. Not every girl I'm seen with is my partner- you fool.
"Do you feel like your in the wrong body, like your a woman in a mans body?"
I sure as hell hope there's no man in my body- that would creep me the fuck out.
"You know I'm straight, right?"
Don't re-assure yourself, again, jump off your high horse.
"Have you read the bible?"
God loves ALL of his children. Just so you know- the bible also says "Only God has the right to judge."
Anyways, theres lots more, but theres a few. Now you know!
I've been trying to figure out how to explain this to you, and apparently my mind is drawing a blank. Its another thing, like my "Love" post- you just know.
I am talking sexual orientation here. I have a lot of people asking me questions like "Julie, how would I know if I'm straight/gay/lesbian/bi etc." Perhaps its because I'm an outspoken proud lesbian, I don't know.
I don't really understand how you can be confused with your sexual orientation, but I get that you can be...
I knew the moment I was able to comprehend romantic relationships. Right away I looked at my life and said "will I ever be able to settle down, get married, have kids, with a man." Right away I knew the answer was "NO."
It's not all to do with sex. Everyone thinks sex feels good. People don't understand the whole strap on concept with lesbians. "Why don't you just do the real thing?" Obviously, we would if we wanted to. Penetration feels good. For me, men don't. I will never find comfort or happiness lying next to a man.
I can't really explain what the difference is. Truth is, its not really whether you like men or women more, its who you are able to fall in love with. Ive been living as a lesbian for years, and never came across a man that I was attracted to, never got that "wow" feeling. Never wanted that.
Anyways, fuck it, I cant explain it.
Some questions I've been asked over the years:
"How do you know you are a lesbian if you've never slept with a man?"
UHM- HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE STRAIGHT IF YOU'VE NEVER SLEPT WITH A MAN(FOR GUYS) OR A WOMAN(FOR GIRLS)????
You don't have to sleep with the same sex to know if you're gay or not, that's horse shit. LIKE I SAID. Its not all about sex. Its about love and emotion and happiness. I don't want to wake up to: "Good morning babe," coming from a manly voice. Hahaha.
"How do you 'do it'?"
What the hell do you mean how do we "do it." How the hell do you do it? We have fingers, and toys, and bodies that can be just as close as a man and a woman's. Think about it.
"Who's the guy," or "Who wears the pants?"
Pretty sure we both have worn pants in our life time. And last time I checked, pretty sure both of us were girls. Its called a lesbian relationship. Meaning: Two Females. One of us cannot be a guy.
"When did you become a lesbian?"
When my mother had sex with my father.
"Why do you shove it in our faces, why do you flaunt it?"
Why do you shove it in our faces about how were going to hell because we're gay, or that were disgusting? Stop shoving "straight" in our faces if you don't want us to fight back.
"Are you sure it just isn't a phase?"
Don't phases end? Well, I'll be damned. I'm still waiting for this "gay" phase to end. Did you actually mean to ask "Do you know how to think and understand your attractions?" Rude.
"Were you sexually abused by a man when you were younger?"
First of all, who the hell asks someone this? And- were you? If yes, why are you not gay? If no- then are you gay? If you are you must of been abused as a child..... NOT ALL GAY/LESBIAN PEOPLE WERE ABUSED. For the record, you will never know if I was sexually abused before asking me this bullshit. You don't ask something like that- you get told. Have a little fucking respect..
"Do you hate men?"
Plain and simple: NO. I might say it sometimes, but I don't mean it.
"Do you make a move on the first date?"
Do you? I hope not.
"So uhm, do you like wanna get with me?"
Dude- just because you're a female friend, and I'm into chicks, DOES NOT mean I'm into you. Fuck sakes, jump off your horse ;) And no, I don't gawk at every big-breasted- bikini wearing- pretty lady out there.
"Is that girl your with your girlfriend?"
Uhm, no, dude, that's my mom. Not every girl I'm seen with is my partner- you fool.
"Do you feel like your in the wrong body, like your a woman in a mans body?"
I sure as hell hope there's no man in my body- that would creep me the fuck out.
"You know I'm straight, right?"
Don't re-assure yourself, again, jump off your high horse.
"Have you read the bible?"
God loves ALL of his children. Just so you know- the bible also says "Only God has the right to judge."
Anyways, theres lots more, but theres a few. Now you know!
I've been trying to figure out how to explain this to you, and apparently my mind is drawing a blank. Its another thing, like my "Love" post- you just know.
Saturday 18 May 2013
The Sun
Respect the sun. Without the sun we would have no food. Without food, one can only live for so long.
Thursday 16 May 2013
How to Break Free From Your Family
The truth about every family is that they are dysfunctional. Every family has one of them: A drug addict, a gambler, a criminal, an abuser, a lost soul, a failure, a manipulator, an attention seeker and so on.
This is how it works. The family has separated in a weird sort of way. A healthy way. A way in which they haven't separated. If you can make sense of this, you can make a healthy separation without separating from your family.
Imagine a giant circle, and in this circle are a bunch of little circles. These circles represent people. The outer circle who is holding everyone in is like the ozone layer of the earth. It is very strong, but over time it has gotten damaged due to abuse from what is inside of it. Just like the big circle, the little circles get damaged too, allowing unwanted activity in the circles. Eventually the big circle will be weak enough for some of the little circles to break free. Some will choose to stay in the big circle, some will chose to leave. When YOU choose to leave, you are stronger than the circle. It can not hold you in anymore. It can no longer hold you captive to what goes on inside that circle. It can no longer hurt you enough to make you want to stay. Your circle has now rebuilt and is very strong. The people left in the circle are the damaging ones in your life, although, there are a few who may still be trapped. You can still maintain a relationship with these people once you leave the big circle. The difference is, is that you are able to live without them. They can no longer control you, or hurt you. You are there for them as their family, but you are not there as their enabler. Supplying them with whatever it is that they need. Whether that need is drugs, gambling, sexual addictions, the need to abuse and control, or the need to receive love and acceptance at the expense of others. You are no longer there for that stuff, you are just there to love them. That's it. When you break out of the big circle, you are free and can live your own life.
This is how it works. The family has separated in a weird sort of way. A healthy way. A way in which they haven't separated. If you can make sense of this, you can make a healthy separation without separating from your family.
Imagine a giant circle, and in this circle are a bunch of little circles. These circles represent people. The outer circle who is holding everyone in is like the ozone layer of the earth. It is very strong, but over time it has gotten damaged due to abuse from what is inside of it. Just like the big circle, the little circles get damaged too, allowing unwanted activity in the circles. Eventually the big circle will be weak enough for some of the little circles to break free. Some will choose to stay in the big circle, some will chose to leave. When YOU choose to leave, you are stronger than the circle. It can not hold you in anymore. It can no longer hold you captive to what goes on inside that circle. It can no longer hurt you enough to make you want to stay. Your circle has now rebuilt and is very strong. The people left in the circle are the damaging ones in your life, although, there are a few who may still be trapped. You can still maintain a relationship with these people once you leave the big circle. The difference is, is that you are able to live without them. They can no longer control you, or hurt you. You are there for them as their family, but you are not there as their enabler. Supplying them with whatever it is that they need. Whether that need is drugs, gambling, sexual addictions, the need to abuse and control, or the need to receive love and acceptance at the expense of others. You are no longer there for that stuff, you are just there to love them. That's it. When you break out of the big circle, you are free and can live your own life.
Wednesday 15 May 2013
Pineapple Strawberry Mallow Smoothie
One of my creations:
Pineapple Strawberry Mellow
Prep Time: 8 Minutes
Serves: 1*
Ingredients Needed:
2 Frozen Marshmallows (this allows easier blending)
1/2 Cup of Pineapple Juice
4 or 5 Frozen Strawberries
2 Scoops of Frozen Yogurt (healthier than ice cream)
3 Ice cubes (4 for a thicker smoothie)
In a blender, pour in half a cup of pineapple juice. Then break up the marshmallows and put them in the blender. Set the blender to pulse(or press and let go of the button repeatedly if you don't have a "pulse" option) and let it mix about a minute. Add frozen strawberries and frozen yogurt. Blend until mixture is smooth. Add ice cubes and puree. Voila!
*Add 1/2 more of the ingredients for each extra serving size. Do not exceed one and a half cup of pineapple juice for less than 5 servings, unless that's all you want to taste!
Pineapple Strawberry Mellow
Prep Time: 8 Minutes
Serves: 1*
Ingredients Needed:
2 Frozen Marshmallows (this allows easier blending)
1/2 Cup of Pineapple Juice
4 or 5 Frozen Strawberries
2 Scoops of Frozen Yogurt (healthier than ice cream)
3 Ice cubes (4 for a thicker smoothie)
In a blender, pour in half a cup of pineapple juice. Then break up the marshmallows and put them in the blender. Set the blender to pulse(or press and let go of the button repeatedly if you don't have a "pulse" option) and let it mix about a minute. Add frozen strawberries and frozen yogurt. Blend until mixture is smooth. Add ice cubes and puree. Voila!
*Add 1/2 more of the ingredients for each extra serving size. Do not exceed one and a half cup of pineapple juice for less than 5 servings, unless that's all you want to taste!
Love
So I decided I'm going to start writing again.
So as you don't know, yet, I'm a little backwards. Lifes backwards. I must have been one evil creature in my last life to get this karma in my current lifetime.
Loves a tricky thing. A lot of people dont get it. You go through your life, and your boyfriends and girlfriends, but have you felt love? Not if your single right now. Not if youve ever thought you loved someone but youre no longer with them. YOU KNOW when youre in love. Love is the people who have been married and die together. When you find youre ONE true love, you know. You can spot them from far when you've never met them before. When you do cross paths, that first eye contact, the very first one between you and another person IS BREATHTAKING, your heart stops for a minute, and makes you want to literally melt to the floor, thats LOVE. When you touch them for the first time and a shock goes through your entire body, thats LOVE. When you kiss them for the very first time and you feel frozen in time, like you would be happy and accepting if this was the last moment of your life, thats LOVE. When you first make that deep physical connection, when you first make love, you can't feel your fingertips and you've never felt so good in your life-physically, emotionally, and spiritually, thats LOVE. When you could kill each other, but you stay together. When you hurt each other, but you stay together. When everyone is telling you to leave, but you stay together. When it turns your life upside down, but you stay together. When it gets better, and you're still together. When you feel this, you are in love. You have found the love of your life. Your one and only. Your unbroken- we'll be in a grave together- marriage. Your bestfriend. Your lover. Your biggest enemy. YOU HAVE FOUND LOVE. It can come at any time. Age doesnt limit when you can fall in love. When you have felt all of these things, your done searching.
When I say I love you, I mean it.
So as you don't know, yet, I'm a little backwards. Lifes backwards. I must have been one evil creature in my last life to get this karma in my current lifetime.
Loves a tricky thing. A lot of people dont get it. You go through your life, and your boyfriends and girlfriends, but have you felt love? Not if your single right now. Not if youve ever thought you loved someone but youre no longer with them. YOU KNOW when youre in love. Love is the people who have been married and die together. When you find youre ONE true love, you know. You can spot them from far when you've never met them before. When you do cross paths, that first eye contact, the very first one between you and another person IS BREATHTAKING, your heart stops for a minute, and makes you want to literally melt to the floor, thats LOVE. When you touch them for the first time and a shock goes through your entire body, thats LOVE. When you kiss them for the very first time and you feel frozen in time, like you would be happy and accepting if this was the last moment of your life, thats LOVE. When you first make that deep physical connection, when you first make love, you can't feel your fingertips and you've never felt so good in your life-physically, emotionally, and spiritually, thats LOVE. When you could kill each other, but you stay together. When you hurt each other, but you stay together. When everyone is telling you to leave, but you stay together. When it turns your life upside down, but you stay together. When it gets better, and you're still together. When you feel this, you are in love. You have found the love of your life. Your one and only. Your unbroken- we'll be in a grave together- marriage. Your bestfriend. Your lover. Your biggest enemy. YOU HAVE FOUND LOVE. It can come at any time. Age doesnt limit when you can fall in love. When you have felt all of these things, your done searching.
When I say I love you, I mean it.
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